Trips Diary

[Trips]

Day One (27/02/200 I had mixed feelings last night.. I am excited but also daunted, and let's face it I've been down this road a number of times before. So I cant say I'm doing back flips about things, maybe I have some inward understanding, that I jsut HAVE to give this the best shot I can. I am angry with myself mostly, that I've let myself get to this weight, and I'm angry that I keep promising myself I'll change and I always let myself down. Arent I worth more than this? I think about how much of my life and time I've wasted and it's sad. I guess until now I havent allowed myself to look at this, because let's face it, if you are not in a process of changing this, it's just too confronting. Who wants to admit and acknowledge how miserable and how little self-esteem and self-control they have? It's almost too powerful to do it, it's like admitting you are crap. So while I see where I am, I am not going to see where I want to be for a long long time. Even if I kept to this 100% for the next 6 months I'm still not going to be thin. So instead of focusing on this, for now, until I can look into myself with more confidence in being closer to where I want to be, I'm just going to take it one day at a time. And so far today I'm doing OK.....

Day Two (28/02/200 Tricky day and kinda uncomfortable too. I wnet to an Enjo Party this morning, mostly with new kinder mums, and I didnt really want to tell them all I was doing Cohens. Maybe in a while when I've been on it more than one day I might feel differently, but it's not something I am happy drawing attention too just yet. In the end, the Host was so adamant I have a coffee and something to eat, that I had to say, "Look I'm very sorry but I've started a diet and I cant". All morning consisted of comments like "just have a little bit" or "grapes are fine" and in the end I truly wished I wasnt there. Why must people be like this? It's like once they knew I couldnt or didnt want to eat, they drew more attention to wanting me too all morning. While I am still bubbling with motivation now, I can see this is going to be tricky. I really need to get more prepared. I could have taken a piece of fruit (had I been organised) and I could even have taken a salada too. But choosing these things over dips and fruit platters and spreads is going to be very hard. It's ridiculous to think I might need to avoid these occasions because these occasions are life. Still I hope I am strong enough to 'get through' them and I hope I dont feel the level of discomfort I did today.

[shell]

Hi Trips,
It does get easier
You might have to avoid certain situations for a little while untill you are more comfortable and organised.
Great idea taking it one day at a time, and beeing on this forum is very motivational and helpful.
You will do it, as you sound like you are ready
Shell

[Annabelle Joy]

With luck, I'll be the first second (shell has beaten me) to welcome you, Trips, and to congratulate you on your resolve when confronted with a difficult situation today I know just how you feel, I was full of trepidation before I started. It does get easier, much more so if you keep visiting this forum. With regard to people pressing you to have things you don't want, try telling them your doctor has put you on a really strict diet [to get your hormones working properly], and you can't break it. They're much less likely to press you if they think it's a doctor who has prescribed it and it's for a medical reason. You've already worked out the other trick to sticking to your diet, and that is to go prepared. Work out in advance how you are going to handle as many of situations that you might encounter as you can think of, and be prepared. So far, I've taken my own food to two restaurants, a barbecue and a family birthday party. While I don't seek social occasions, I decided I wasn't going to avoid them. You're really going for the company, not the food and drink, might as well enjoy the occasion if you can stick to your resolve.

Good luck, and I look forward to reading of your journey and seeing your ticker move over the next few months

AJ

[Butterfly_girl]

The good news Trips, is that it does get easier in many ways. Once you feel those clothes getting looser and the scales moving downwards, it becomes easier and easier to say "no thanks" and mean it. I have declined a couple of social invitations in the last 7 weeks - I choose to surround myself with people who are supportive of me and what I'm achieving. I have to focus 100% on this programme right now. It doesn't mean I'll never see those people again or have fun with them again, but sometimes the awkwardness just isn't worth it! It's okay for me to put myself first for a while - and that was a concept I really struggled to get my head around! I also find it easier now to talk about this program more. But that took me some time too.

Loads of people hear the word "diet" and make big assumptions about what you can and can't eat. I know a lot of people on this forum have found it easier to say "I'm on a prescribed medical diet" which seems to shut some people up. So maybe give that a try.

I think by starting this program, you've done one of the best things you could possibly do for yourself and your loved ones. So hang in there! I'm really looking forward to sharing your journey with you. You'll be amazed at what you can achieve!

Take care,

BFG

[babytime]

HI Trips

welcome to the Cohen's and to the friendliest bunch of guys and gals you will ever find.
We have all been there before, and all with different amounts to lose, but you can do it, and we will help you do it.
I wish you heaps of success and look forward to reading your diary, but before I go repeat after me
"I AM NOT CRAP, I AM NOT CRAP. I AM BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG AND AM GOING TO BE THE BEST PERSON I CAN BE"
(caps were intentional) I don't usually go in for that 'hippy' stuff, but it's all true anyway.

and when asked to eat something not allowed (aka poisonous) I say I'm on an elimination diet (cos i'm eliminating all the crap from my diet).

cya round and have a great day 3
babytime

[Kohinoor]

Hi Trips,

Welcome aboard the good ship Newyou. If you've had the chance, you'll have already sussed out that this is a GOOD place to be.

So while I see where I am, I am not going to see where I want to be for a long long time. Even if I kept to this 100% for the next 6 months I'm still not going to be thin.

Good for you - as you sound realistic about things. And yet, you may be surprised at how well you CAN do. There are already people here who have lost, or are losing, the same amount that you need to address - and a look at a few diaries will hopefully give you confidence. Check these out:-

Asy - the lady who has put this forum together for us. Read her diary for a lot of inspiration. She lost 88Kg in ~ 12 months, and had fun along the way.

Sezi - our weightloss champ - lost something like 25Kg in her first month (I haven't checked the exact figure...) and kept on. She is still doing it today, and is over halfway through - hasn't been here even 6 months, and had more to lose than you.

Faithy - with around the same amount to lose as you, started around May 07 - and is now pretty darn close to wearing size 10's - has about 10Kgs to go. Around 7Kg a month, tick, tick, tick, .....

There are many others too - many just starting, many more finishing. Many with less to lose, some with more, but most have just aced the journey, and are "on fire" as they close in on their goals. Many, too, have already finished - but they remain around and available to give advice to others. In short, Trips, it's ALL here for you.

Check out the "New members" thread - there are lots of starting out tips and stories there. People lose at different rates depending on age, health issues, stickability (no deviations), and whether weight was gained quickly or slowly. But, as a bit of a guideline, you are LIKELY to be a Size 10 by early next year if you "just do it"..... maybe even earlier as some do lose quicker than that. But most lose between 5Kg and 8Kg per month.

Hehe - I reckon you will "see yourself" in SO many diary stories that you will soon realise:-
1. You are NOT alone
2. You can be VERY hopeful
3. YOU CAN DO THIS

Go for it, girl,

Koh

[ropemaha]

hi trips, gee koh writes a great post doesnt he??

i really dont want to repeat what everyone else has said cause, while it is all true, you do lose quickly, you stop being hungry etc, if your anything like me its hard to believe that on day 2.

the thing is, you will drop 20kgs pretty quick (weeks!!) and thats when you start thinking about the rest. then its 30 and 40 and so on.

thinking about the extremes (fat and thin) isnt helpful at this point, and you know thats true cause you just wrote that in yr diary, 'i still wont be thin'.

not straight away but you will be thinner, and thinner. thats where you start mate, at the beginning.

try not to be overwhelmed by the whole task, break it down into manageable goals (i split it into thirds in my head). trust me its easier this way.

and remember this very important piece of info....get addicted to this forum, many of us are, and i can assure you it has been the difference btw success and failure for me....

just keep posting, no matter what happens.

look forward to hearing more from you

cheers penny

[ropemaha]

one more thing trips.

try to realise that some people want you to stay fat cause it makes them feel better...you know how it is, the 'she's fatter than me' headspace.

when people are hassling you to eat, try telling them that your a bit unwell and yr trying out a new medication. strictly not a lie that cause the food is now your medicine.

it happens to all of us, happened to me just the other night, people asking me if i am hungry. strange but true.

pen

[hexi2]

Welcome Trips - I know it seems like a huge journey ahead but for me it has gone really quickly - all up in Jan 07 I was 117kg now I am the lighest I have ever been in my life - it IS possible for dreams to come true you just have to believe! And before you know it...you are there (you are well on your way already)...

And don't forget the black coffee....it's always a 'social' thing to do where you don't feel left out. You handled your first couple of days really well and you are going to love the support here a diary is a really good way to process your thoughts and share. We all know where you are...we can all relate

And before you know it - you WILL believe in yourself and WILL be thin!

[ConnieK..]

hi Trips,

I am only about 3 weeks ahead of you and I am still wondering if this will work for me, so far I am a slow but consistent loser, but that's Ok too

I look to the diaries of people who were here before me as I feel and think and battle and they have all gone through the same things. Never be afraid to confront yourself in here, even when you feel you are in a million pieces there is always someone who will help you start picking them up!

The journey is not just weight but emotion and issues too, not just yours but confronting and sometimes rude people around you. Lean on the people here when you need to ...... they know exactly what you are going through!

Having said that.... Good luck and welcome aboard.

Connie

[Faithy]

Hey Beautiful Lady

I posted this else where.. you know LOL.. but I'll post it here too..

This is for day 2 beautiful..

It is hard Trips.. no denying that & when I look back at my beginning I'm pretty certain for a few occasions I just didn't go. You have to do what is comfortable for you. If it means missing out for a while till you get stronger then do that.
If I'm going out I HAVE to be organised. I've got myself one of those little fridge bags & I might even pack my lunch. A good lunch to take out with you would be some slices of tomato, cucumber maybe some lettuce & then slices of mozzarella cheese & my crisp breads (I prefer vita~weets LOL).. and an apple or whatever.. & always a HUGE bottle of water.

if you do want to go out, you KNOW people will hound you. Yeah they'll say grapes are OK, as to them is nibbling on celery or carrots. One thing a lot of people say is I'm on an insulin controlled diet provided to me by my doctor & it's very strict. If you say that then I bet you the majority of people will stop. If they keep hounding you tell them that it's a private issue, smile & walk away.

Because this is SOO 'different' from what people are use to as far as dieting goes, you will cop an incredible amount of negative feedback. That does make it tough, because for this to work within your own head you need to try & maintain a positive attitude as often as possible.

Please know Trips that I am here for you text me or call me or whatever. ANY time of the day. I'm dead serious. I KNOW you can do this & if you need extra support I'm all yours.

HUGS

[Trips]

Day Three (29/02.200 Firstly I have to say that I am blown away by the support I've found here. I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart, because without it this day would've been so much tougher.

I cant say that I've ever really 'fitted in' and for most of my life, certainly the times I've been obese, I have always stood on the sidelines, blantantly aware that most (not all but most) people see the outer shell and judge that before understanding who is inside. This has left me extremely apprehensive about putting myself and what I am feeling out there, because let's face it, you can only take so many hits before you decide not to partake in the fight.

But in less than 24hours I've found a group of people, who listened to what I felt in my heart, and not only didnt judge me harshly, but accepted me for me, and offered me their support and friendship! Now that is AMAZING!!

Thanks to my dear friend Faithy (who is the reason I have begun this journey) I have stumbled into a place that makes me feel valued. You all have no idea how this makes me feel. It is such a support and just makes me more determined to try my hardest and then some to succeed on this journey. So thank you... today has been tough (I gotta say I have been hungry and headachy) but I thought about the words that everyone has said to me and it truly made it easier. Thank you all I feel honoured to be here with you today and for however long it takes (and then some)....

[shell]

Hang in there Trips
You will soon be like the rest of us who used to hide in the background- now we are just all BARGING right up the front!!
Plenty of room up here for you, when you are ready- which wont be long
Shell

[Annabelle Joy]

You've come to the right place, Trips. Many (most?) of us understand exactly how you've felt in the past.

What an advantage you have, having watched Faithy. You know what the results will be. Many of us entered the program wondering if this would be just another diet that we wouldn't be able to complete. Most realise after they get through the first few weeks that they really can be successful.

Good luck.

AJ

[ropemaha]

ahh so a friend of faithys hey....no wonder you are here....she is of legendary status round here mate....and now the next generation has arrived. this place just gets better and better....

yep we have all been there, standing back, not participating cause we're fat. we KNOW how this feels. every person on this forum KNOWS how this feels.

it doesnt matter how much anyone of us has had to lose, we are here because we felt just like you.

yep you have arrived home trips....and everything you need to succeed is either in you or in here. easy really.

great news you feel like rubbish, means its working already. fast eh?

cheers penny

[Kohinoor]

Hi Trips,

Gee, that was SUCH a good post from you. Yep, it can be scarey "putting it out there" - but what a JOY when it all works out good, eh? You just need to hang tough for a little while longer (I've heard the first 3 days are the WORST - then it just gets better ..... and better .... and .....)

Hey, just ask Faithy - and wow, fancy you having a "Red phone to the White House" !!! You can't fail, girl Just do what she says, wait a bit, and you're done !! Thinking more about that, just ask ANYONE on here ('cept me, cos I'm just a "mascot" :P ) and they'll tell you. Stay pumped, and positive, and enjoy the ride to your health, Trips. It is great to have you here,

Koh

[pandora]

Wow, trips, only day 3 and your diary is already jam packed with such valuable advice! Everything i was thinking to say has already been said!

The one thing that i do think is most important in the first week is, you are relearning how to EAT, how to think about food, act around food, make pictures in yr head about food etc - i know i attempted to be 100% every day in the first week but had a few minor slips like licking the cooking spoon for family meals etc. Point was, since the program was so different from my previous eating, i still had 3.5kg off in the first week with only 16kg total to lose! I was excstatic! So you really only have to get through the first few days and then you become addicted to feeling good and getting wonderful results really fast! Also, my first 3 days, i felt quite ill as the week BEFORE i started was like the "last supper" i had lots of chips, junk, chocolate and tons of wine every night!! so major detox etc, day 4 on - felt literally like a different person! You can too!

lets enjoy your journey to personal freedom together here on the forum! And here is some of Hexi's magic fairydust .... Pandora

[Jeannie]

Welcome Trips, Are you another Canberrian? My son and DIL live there too, hope to come over some time this yr, did you hear that Faithy? We will have to catch up for a coffee, would so love my DIL to meet you as well.. She has just started WW again..

The recipes are so good and many to choose from.. Hexis cauliflower and feta cheese is one of the best and knowing just how FREEZING it gets in good ol Canberra it will be worth keeping up your sleeve to have.. Babytime has posted some fantastic recipes as well and also Debs..

I will PM you with what Drexyl and myself are doing to stop ourselves from deviating....

BTW your "friends" who are encouraging you to eat, will soon be tripping over themselves to ask you how you are losing so much weight that they will forget to ask you to have a bite of this or that..

[Trips]

Day Four(1/03/220: I had been debating whether or not to take some pictures, and having looked at a few of the girls here I decided if I was really serious I should. Let me tell you, it wasnt pretty! I dont think I've actually looked at my rear (obviously mainly cause it's behind me!) or seen myself from behind in a very long time.

It really opened my eyes to how fat I am. I dont say that with the intent of wanting any sympathy, I just say that in an eye opening matter of fact kinda way , because alot of the time as I 'live' in this body (as it is now) I dont really percieve it as fat. Certainly nowhere near as fat as it is. But rather than see this as a negative, I'm going to twist it into a positive and use this to remind myself how desparately I need to change things.

What once would have seemed extremely depressing, doesnt seem so bad because a little part of me is starting to believe this will change. I wont look like this much longer. I am still a long way from believing I can do it, but I feel so encouraged by everyone, like people are actually willing me on, and I feel so much stronger for it. I am still fighting feeling hungry, but I'm hoping this will settle as the days go on.

I will start looking through all your diaries as soon as I can, it's hectic to find time but I have decided I need to make time, even half an hour a day for me. It can only benefit my family too in the long term. Thank you all for making me feel so welcome here, it means so much

Peace and Love,
Trips xxxxxxxxxx

[Kannadew]

Welcome Trips!!

I applaud your decision to start Cohen's, to start a diary AND to take those dreaded Photo's!

I have taken Monthly shots and boy am I glad I did now.... It has been totally amazing seeing all the photo's together!! Seeing the progress and the gradual changes. Sometimes when I have been feeling low or like... "is this really making a difference?" ...I would go and look at the photo's cos they didn't lie from one month to the next....

Welcome Welcome!! I believe you have totally made the RIGHT decision I look forward to following your journey. I have already loved reading your diary as you have a really lovely way of expressing yourself! Keep it up!!

Blessya
Kannadew