Refeed, More Food, Fullness and Self Acceptance

[RachyF]

I thought I would love refeed. I read threads and talked with my consultant who mentioned it would be hard to eat all the protein.. and a lot of food.. and I thought, no way, not me, I can eat a whole horse.

The beginning was great. Bread! Pinepple! Blueberries! French Toast and Blueberries! Garlic Prawn Pizza!

But recently, I'm day 15 (of 18 ) I have been feeling really stuffed. I've been having the 50g Popcorn when I get home. Then not only cooking dinner made of two different proteins, 2 different groups of vegetables.. but then also making my lunch for the next day (also 2 diff prots, 2 diff vege groups) and while I'm cooking I'm surrounded by food, my belly is bloated, full - a feeling I haven't felt for a while.. and I notice I feel horrible, gross, about myself - guilty even. It's a strange thing.

There was no question in my mind. I'm fat, I've put on weight, my clothes don't feel as loose, I've ruined my hard work, wasted money, I'm stupid etc etc.

Although the guilt and self hatred can lead to not eating enough, I think its can be the same feelings that lead to eating too much. I believe the universe likes to 'work things out' so while we grapple with these feelings we'll stay in a cycle of imbalance (including inbalanace in our relationship with food)

This morning I got on the scales and I'm my lowest weight yet. So all that self un-acceptance from the night before is washed away and the world looks bright. I'm more aware now though that as I ride this wave of happiness, as its conditional on the number on the scales, its not real peace, its just the other side of the coin.

I hope no one minds me posting this in here. I'm not really meaning this to be a diary type entry, about me in particular - but I can only imagine others expereince similar bloated/bad/guilt feelings toward end of refeed. So I'm just sharing some thoughts..

Peace

[gayle.chamberlain]

Hi
Unbelievable, that is exactly how I was feeling yesterday. I thought all my hard work had been undone and what had I done wrong! Got on the scales this morning and had more weight. I don't get it. Perhaps it was just the bread or the milk? I have now swapped some of the bread back for premiums (which I love). Feel a little better today.
Cheers
Gayle

[Kohinoor]

Hi Gayle, and Rachy (?),

Your post had me think it might be worth including this link. It goes back some time, but has had a lot of thought go into it. From the few posts Tantravaya has made, I get the distinct impression that she has discovered a number of "watch out" points for herself, thus she shares them here.

I wonder if the thoughts espoused in the link (and in the link within that) might mean something to you. Here we go :-
http://newyouforum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=257075#post257075

In other posts, I recall Tantravaya is one who CAN'T mix proteins (even into Maintenance). That's not to say YOU can't - but it shows that we are all different - and that Maintenance means "finding out what does, and doesn't, work for YOU".

I hope her words (and the link she added) might help you to understand a bit more about you....

And, welcome aboard !!
Koh

[Kokko]

Interesting thread Rach. I'm on day 2 of my refeed and because I started refeed 3kg above the weight I intended to start initially, I am terrified of gaining weight! This morning I felt increadibly hungry but still reluctantly had my first slice of bread in 6 months... and not even sure I enjoyed it that much - again, because I am worried I'll gain weight again.

After a lot of thinking and reading threads about this, I came to the conclusion (not even a yay! Lightbulb moment...) that Dr. Cohen designed this for us to keep the weight off and it is important to live a 'normal' life again. The only difference is that we now have the tools & guidelines to live it the right way and we can choose what we eat and how we eat it.

Good to see other people have the same fears...

[louise41]

Kokko I found I had to spread the extra food over the whole day. Initially I saved it all for my dinner then I really was full and uncomfortable. I hope you enjoy your refeed