Issues with Other Half

[ciaranfurness]

Hi there, does anyone else have problems with their other half not being very supportive?

I know that I have tried a lot of other things to lose weight and most of them have only been marginally successful if at all, so I realise a bit of skepticism is a given but I really feel different this time and I feel that I will do it but:

My husband is saying things like "here we go again", "have heard that before", "ill believe it when I see it" etc etc.

Im finding it hard because he still eats whatever he wants while I have to cook two meals, but when its his turn to cook he gets all shirty about having to do the extra things for my meals.

Any help, advice, tips would be appreciated!

[louise41]

Maybe when he starts to see the results he will change his attitude. You could take it on as a personal challenge to show him. If he has seen you try and fail and may be expecting that and when he sees this is different he may well become different.

As for the meal situations that is a different issue! I think that is part of the onging battle of the sexes and typecasting of women who seem to be expected to pick up the lions share and can be a bit tricky, I struggle with it myself. I cook the same meals for both of us just add a bit to my partners. If I knew the secret to getting men to cook I would make my fortune!

Best of luck

[Happy Barb]

I think Louise is right. He will change his mind when he sees results. Mine did. I guess it depends on your husband, I cook for mine, then make my meal, as for him cooking ??/ well he could but wouldn't get the quantities right. He has to fend for himself if I am away for a meal, so I don't wait on him hand and foot. My sisters have husbands that are very supportive and take turns at cooking but it's not my husbands scene, he wasn't brought up like that and isn't handy around the house, but he dows work hard on the farm.

[ciaranfurness]

Thanks for that, I will show him! I will look amazing very soon, and he will have to change his tune! He is usually very good with cooking dinner, but maybe its because its new that he's not sure what hes doing. Neither am I yet either! lol

[mcpsych]

You are doing this for you
the unbeleivers will come around
if you have to do it alone then do be it but do it
I was extreemly lucky in that I have a wife who is more precious than rubies
and as a cook I suck
what is his motivation???

[ciaranfurness]

Sorry bit of brain fade, but Im not sure what you mean by what is his motivation?

[Mich]

darling your post made me feel kinda sad.. I know you will succced... you've done so damn well already on your own! that in itself is amazing.

As the other say, do it for you and only you.

Sending you lots of love and light xx

[aussueeater]

Hi, I hope he comes round soon......but here's a few things to consider.
Is being on cohens, stopping you from doing things together & that he's missing?

For example my hubby and I eat brekky out on the weekend. I spoke to the owner and arranged a suitable meal( 1 egg a half tomato and a few mushrooms)....we go half an hour earlier...and I have a late lunch.....but at least Im not saying no to going out.

We also used to sit & have an alcoholic drink b4 dinner..( or 2!).which I still do ( diet, in a champagne flute)so we still sit for a while and discuss our day.

I've also scoped out menus at local restaurants ( a few phone calls to see who will prepare without sauces& dressings) now if someone says " let's eat out" I can suggest my local Italian that serves a mixed salad with prawns....x6 average prawns r within 5g of my meal allowance.
I will buy or bake sweet treats for my family.....just not the ones that tempt me.so they don't "miss out" in their view.

I think sometimes our partners can worry we want to look attractive for "others"...your phot shows how attractive you are.....maybe your extra weight made him feel more secure? A less than helpful guy who works with my hubby said " my ex-wife joined a gym, and got slim...only when she'd decided she wanted to dump me".........nice thought to put in his head huh? So reassure him, and maybe plan for the slim you...including him? Eg: a holiday in the sun together & you in a bikini.... An adventurous trip ( cycling,walking...)
Good luck with getting him onside....it's lovely when they encourage us, celebrate all the positive body changes, and can embrace some menu changes!!

[lil_doll]

He'll come around, Keren...

And meanwhile, how can he say such things like 'here we go again' or 'believe it when I see it' when YOU have already 20 kilos???!!!!!! I think there might be some insecurity issues there- which is what McPsych meant by asking what his motivation is, I think

Stick to it and show him!!!

[sarebear83]

that is really negative of him! don't let it get you down babe, we know you can do it and as long as you know deep down inside you can do it then that's all that matters.

P.S if my partner did that I'd slap his face! hahaha

[ciaranfurness]

Aww thanks so much guys, your support means everything! Im just going to keep following the programme and let the results speak for themselves. Maybe it is an insecurity thing, Im not sure! But he knows I love him, I married him only 2 months ago and we had been together 10 years before that! And sarebear, lol! So tempted! hehe

[ciaranfurness]

Pleased to report that hubby is much more supportive now, which is so much better! He is noticing the changes in me, both weight wise and emotionally how I deal with things and I think he has been pleasantly surprised with how committed I am - almost a month later! Yay

[dutiful.wife]

Hi Keren,

I am so glad that your husband is much more supportive now. On my part, it's my husband on Cohen's and I make all his meals. Support is super important, and I'm sure that as you go long, your husband's support and faith in the program will further improve. Happy losing to you! Cheers!

B