This is my spleen - venting

[ConnieK..]

Just sitting here reading my PFLAG ( Parents and Friends of Lesbians And Gays) newsletter when I read this

I was both alarmed and saddened last week when I took a call from a self-proclaimed “Christian” mother, who revealed to me that she could not accept her son being gay, as it was against the bible’s teachings. When I related to this mother that so many young gay people consider suicide, because they are not accepted by their families, she replied that if that was the case, then that would be the best outcome for her.

I cannot beleive that in 2009 someone would rather their child was dead than gay. This made me cry for the child who's mother would prefer him dead than alive because of something he can no more control than breathing.

my rant ......


Connie

[Shanara]

Yes Connie,

Unfortunately all too common and yet there are many who just accept who someone is regardless of their sexuality. I feel sorry for the mother who is also missing out on so much and she doesn't even realise it.

I hope her child is very well supported in a very loving gay community.

Shanara

[ConnieK..]

I hope so too Shanara ... my heart is breaking for this poor boy.

Imagine if your mother wished you dead for having brown hair when everyone else had black ... it's horrifying... your family is siupposed to support you when no-one else will ... not abandon you because you don't fit their idea of perfect.

I am gutted .... this is up there with bl**dy Jeff Kennett saying all homosexuals are paedophiles...... nothing like opening your mouth and removing all doubt that you are an ignoramus.

Sad for the mother as well ..... if the worst should happen how would you get up each day knowing you had said that.

Connie

[fornight]

It is indeed very common. Even in Singapore, there are churches that are anti-homosexual. Interestingly a few months ago, there was a saga of some people secretly trying to take over the leadership a secular woman right organization in Singapore. The reason of their unorthodox takeover is they find the organization becoming too pro-homosexual for their comfort.

[Mette]

Ok, I might be really naive, but I would have thought that in our day and time, people would have gotten over those prejudices. I mean, c'mon! Gay, straight, black, white, tall, short, disabled or not, we're all human. We can't help the way we're born! And how can a mother say something like that about her child?? Sheesh. Faith is good, fananticism is bloody scary!
I really hope the poor boy has a good support network in place!

[Kohinoor]

Originally Posted by Mette

We can't help the way we're born!

Amen to that, Mette - apparently the "male/female' decision is made early in life in the womb. From what I read ("Brain Sex" - Anne Moir and David Jessel) the sexuality of a foetus is determined from around 6 weeks after conception.

Excessive (or insufficient) amounts of hormones (male and/or female) at this time can lead to a developing physical male having his brain flooded with excessive female hormones. And, of course, vice versa.... And even all stages in between.

I might be one of those "in-between"s myself, as I was never a boy who liked "rough and tumble" as much as most boys - how much of that came from my upbringing, and how much from "soon after conception" is anybody's guess. I tend to recall though, that I was always "a bit more caring and feeling" than most boys.... To me, I was always "just me".

And, I like being "a bit more caring" anyway

Koh

[tomorrowisnow]

That's a really heartbreaking story, really really sad. We, as a society have come so far but we are still so far off! I wonder if this lady has ever had anything really tragic happen to her in her life (other than the fact that her son was gay)?

Y'know, the other day I was reading a magazine and an ad for Centerlink grabbed my attention. It had two identical photo's of toothbrushes and had something like 'gay couple' and 'straight couple' labled under each seperate photo then a comment to say that for your Centerlink payments straight or gay you had to let them know because it would change your payments.

Now I am not gay, nor do I have any friends or family who is - heck the closest person I know who is gay is Darren Hayes (ex Savage Garden) but I was so FURIOUS. LOVE is LOVE - I really truely believe this. How can they recognise a relationship on one hand and then not on the other? They are so hipicrital and archachic, no wonder there are still people who are so misinformed and narrowminded with this sort of crap happening.

What a joke! Does this mean that since Centrelink has decided to recognise them, they can also claim their same-sex partners as dependents for tax purposes?

Sad, sad, sad!

[ConnieK..]

Koh,

It's interesting I have a new scientist magazine where they show brain scans of babies at birth and suprisingly the straight male maps directly to a gay female and the gay male to a straight female as far as brain patterns go.

Connie

[Kohinoor]

Hi Connie,

Yeah, that seems to fit with what I read in that book:-

It's interesting I have a new scientist magazine where they show brain scans of babies at birth and suprisingly the straight male maps directly to a gay female and the gay male to a straight female as far as brain patterns go.

Only problem comes about when people from "the dark ages" start quoting from the old Testament (which was pretty "dark ages" in itself).
Think, eye for an eye, sacrifice your first-born, I (your God) am a jealous God, "xyz" is an abomination (there were quite a few)....

I'm just glad I was born AD, and not BC.... *whew* when the theme became more of LOVE rather than "hard-line" .... thanks to Jesus !! Shame that some, even today, tend to live in the "dark ages"....

Koh

[Claire in Brisbane]

Hi Tomorrowisnow

I'm not sure that I quite understand your post, so maybe I'm missing your point - sorry if that's the case!

However, there were a range of reforms which came into effect from July this year affecting how same sex relationships are viewed by commonwealth departments. The history to this is an audit of commonwealth legislation by the Human Rights Commission which found (not surprisingly) discrimination against same sex relationships is fairly enshrined in commonwealth legislation. The HRC issued a report on this called Same Sex, Same Entitlements.

The intention of the reforms are to remove discrimination against same sex relationships in commonwealth legislation. This doesn't only apply to Centrelink - you're quite right that this also now applies to the Tax Office, and also quite a wide range of other areas including child support, superannuation, immigration, medicare, veteran's affairs etc.

The intention of the Centrelink ad is to say that relationships are relationships - whether gay or straight - and that same sex relationships now need to be declared to Centrelink for pension/benefit purposes.
In some instances, this may result in a lesser benefit being paid to two people as a couple compared to what they may have been receiving as two individuals (I'm not really 100% across Centrelink benefits) but the point is that it's now calculated the same way as people in an opposite-sex relationship have their benefits calculated. There was no need to declare a same sex relationship to Centrelink prior to this, as it was effectively ignored under the legislation and that couple would simply have been viewed as two individuals anyway.

Of course there is quite some way to go for genuine equality including areas such as marriage, not to mention attitudes - as shown by Connie's original post on this topic - but I see this as a definite step in the right direction.

Claire.

[tomorrowisnow]

Hi Claire, I agree with what you are saying and maybe I didn't word my post very well - I realise that this is a step in the right direction on one hand but I also see it as a huge kick in the face to same sex partnerships on the other. I jsut feel like our government isn't consistant, they wont legalise marriage between them but they will treat them the same as a straight couple in other areas? I don't get it? I feel like they are sort of 'accepting' in a half-assed way, so they don't p*ss off prospective voters maybe, I don't know.

Perhaps I am misinformed in my opinion (which is very likely given I don't know jack about centerlink payments, our government or same sex partnership laws in Australia for that matter), all I know is that they should have the EXACT same rights - no grey areas.

I wonder if our government was ACCEPTING on all levels - giving same sex couples the EXACT same rights as straight couples if perhaps parents like this lady would be more accepting also. Maybe not?

As I said, it's a step in the right direction but I don't think it's enough - of course this is only my opinion and I am probably not in a postion to be having one but it is just something that I feel is important.

[Claire in Brisbane]

Yep I couldn't agree with you more, it's a step in the right direction but there's further to go.
Claire

[louise41]

It is not so very long ago that homosexuallity was officially classified as a mental illness. Fortuneatly it has now been taken off the list of mental illness. Just an interesting aside in the past before medicine was aware of the menopause and the effects of hormones some menopausal woman also ended up in psychiatric institutions, whereas now they would just be put on HRt. The word hysterical comes from the word hyster which refers to the uterus. We are progressing, but still have a long way to go.

[Mette]

I've been thinking over this topic, and I think you're going to have a problem with 'true equality' between homosexuals and heterosexuals even in today's society. Mainly because it's divided up between the church and the state or commonwealth or whatever you want to call it. Basically what I'm saying is that the commonwealth or the state is striving to provide equal rights (well, some of the people in government are, anyway) for everyone, while the church is still holding on to the archaic belief that the only proper love relationship is between a man and a woman. And that belief is so ingrained in a lot of people that it's going to be nearly impossible to shift.

The sad thing is that the bible teaches to 'love thy neighbour' and 'do unto others', but at the same time it's used to condemn certain groups. A friend of mine claims to be a good Christian who treats everyone equally and with respect. But the funny thing is that when she speaks of treating homosexuals with respect and kindness, she sounds so incredibly condescending and it is obvious that she finds homosexuality morally wrong.

Sigh. I just wish that people could see past looks and sexuality and just appreciate each other as human beings. Or in Koh's case, as a hushpuppy
I mean, everyone has something to offer and we could learn so much from each other if we were just open and accepting.

Sorry, I'll stop ranting now...