Donzie 3.0 for 2023

[Donzie]

Hi, I’m back. Ready to do this again. Looking forward to reconnecting with you all.

[Donzie]

Week 0 day 5 Size 16

Hi, I’m back!

Last time I left here I had a successful rerun of my first time on Cohens. I was feeling great and enjoying life.
All was going well for a while, then life threw me a few doozies, as life does. I feel like I am now re-emerging from it all and am keen to throw this extra weight off and get back to feeling fabulous.

My Dad died suddenly during lockdown in Oct 2020, while he didn’t have COVID he still died isolated in a hospital on a ventilator. We were restricted in seeing him. One visitor per day for one hour, we were forced to rotate between us. He went into hospital because he was feeling breathless. We were told he had pneumonia and would be given intravenous antibiotics. 10 days later he was gone.

It sounds silly now as I type this but at the time I just wasn’t prepared for that outcome. Dad was a Vietnam veteran with all the government healthcare benefits that come with that. He was always popping in and out of hospital (he loved his free private healthcare and wanted to get the most out of it!) It never occurred to me he might not leave this time. But that is what happened.

Then began the fun process of organising his funeral of exactly 10 people (no more). On a positive note hosting online funerals do have their benefits. Being able to connect with people interstate and overseas has been a wonderful use of technology and appears to be the norm now. But alas there was no real wake to honour him and I know that would have broken his heart. He loved a good wake! Catching up with everyone over a beer(s) reminiscing the past, are you kidding me! The bigger the wake the better was his motto. I’m sorry Dad.

Then began ‘The Troubles’.

Dad had over the last 9 years been living in his mothers retirement unit (A land lease arrangement quite common in retirement and caravan parks). He moved in to care for his mother as her health was failing. He also moved to get away from his wife, my mother, as their relationship had suffered over the last decade or so since he retired. I think its not unusual for couples to break up at retirement. All that time together suddenly shines a light on all the little annoyances and problems in a relationship.

So sadly Nanna died. Dad decided to continue living in the retirement park and frankly Mum and Dad got on 100% better as a result. He enjoyed more freedom (Mum can be a bit controlling) Mum was happier. Their relationship improved, they became best friends again, travelling the world together and generally enjoying each other’s company, but also able to go their separate ways when needed. Dad loved the social life at the park. All was good.

Upon Dads death, we learnt Dad had never applied for probate on Nanna’s will. I now had to dispose of her now empty unit at the retirement park. I applied for probate and began the process of doing so. What an ordeal it has been.

Two years and $35k worth of legal fees fighting in VCAT with the retirement park over whether or not we actually held a ‘Site Tenant’ lease during the last 30 years of occupancy and whether we had the right to sell. I cannot say too much as it is still ongoing. But I will say I would not wish this situation on my worst enemy, least of all an ailing, elderly person who wishes to move, usually into higher care.

I will say we have been successful so far and our unit is currently up for sale with a potential buyer on the cards. Nothing is signed as yet though.

Understandably, the biscuit tin did get a good workout over this last 2 years. I used food as comfort during a very difficult, overwhelming, depressive and anxious time. I don’t regret it. It was what I needed to do to get through what I needed to get through. But this extra weight I am carrying now is no longer needed especially as I can see the light at the end of this dark tunnel.

So I’m back. Day 5 a size 16 (and I’d say a large 16) ready to get to work.

Till next time,
Donzie

[Kohinoor]

Aww, Donzie - I felt so sad for you on reading of your Dad. In particular, the bit about folks being SO restricted in visiting others in hospitals and/or Rest Homes while Covid was the game in town. This was fresh for me as it was only yesterday that I belatedly updated my own blog on here - and that subject was part of what had disturbed me during the last 2 years. One OMG moment on radio yesterday was where I heard that Qld lost 8 people to Covid over two years - but today, 8 people die of Covid DAILY and that result is virtually shrugged off - shame we couldn't have done that a year ago !!!

Anyway, good for you to be "going again". I do not see anyone coming back for another go as being a failure - that is NOT the case. Life does have a way of testing us, and now and then the test can be stronger than we are until we grow more. It was the same with me with giving up smoking - several tries over many years - until 8 years ago when wife and I "nailed it finally". Keep coming back to Cohens too and you will, finally, "nail it".

Remember the earlier "gems"? One of them was "This journey is 10% Physical and 90% Mental". Life can really give the mind a good workout, so anything that shines a light into our dark places and/or gives us positive vibes is good to latch onto. If "doing Cohens again" does that for you, then grasp that and hold tight to it. Good luck lady,

Koh

[Ms. Jiggles]

Good luck to you Donzie! I’m so sorry about the loss of your father and grandmother and all the legal issues you have had!

[Donzie]

Week 5 day 2 Size 14/16

Yay! I’m over the 4 week mark and feeling very pleased with myself.

Everything is feeling looser and more comfortable. I’ve been able to pull out a few size 14 items and while some are a little snug at least I can get into them. Yay!

I’m feeling great. Really great. All my little aches and niggles have gone and my knees and joints are pain free. Clearly this is due to losing some weight but also that what I’m eating isn’t adding to inflammation in my body, or allowing inflammation to decrease. Whatever it is, I’m very up for it.

I’ve lost my appetite for sugar and carbs now, so generally all is smooth sailing and I’ve got my eye firmly fixed on the 6 week and 8 week mark. I do have a few social occasions coming up which I need to think about how I want to approach them. Do I knuckle down and rigidly stick to plan or allow for small concessions knowing it will add more time onto the end date? I do well with rigid, not so well with loosey goosey, obviously or I wouldn’t be here.

Generally over time, my eating plan has morphed into a version that I find a little easier to follow. I do add extra veg onto my meals in hungry times and I don’t alway drink enough water. But history has shown me that it matters little provided I get the main things right. So, I’m comfortable with that.

This time I’ve been examining how my past eating and weight gain has been a response (a very effective response) to stress. Particularly long term stress where there isn’t a quick solution. I’ve been examining some relationships in my life, and how they have contributed to this stress. And while I don’t intend to necessarily cut these relationships off, I can view them perhaps a little more objectively and not internalise stressful feelings that result directly from them. That is the plan anyway.

Yes, the internal journey continues I guess. Most things are looking up though and I am very grateful to be where I am today. Hubby is back working (after a nearly 2 year pause), my work is ticking along nicely and I have a small little business idea that is keeping my head in the clouds with plenty of day dreaming. It’s nice to have dreams again.

Onto the flip side of things. Our sale fell through for Dad’s unit so we are back to finding another buyer. Frustrating to say the least. I just have to trust that the right person will come along eventually. There is nothing more I can do than that.

So, all in all everything is going well. Thanks to Koh and Ms Jiggles for popping into my diary. I appreciate your words of encouragement.

Till next time,
Donzie. X

[Kohinoor]

Woohoo Donzie,
Good for you - size 12 is just a few more Kgs away. Keep on striding out there young lady and all will keep on gettting better and better.


Good to have dreams too - you keep those fires burning - they can power a life. Rock on Donzie,
Koh