Giddyupgirl's Diary

[Kohinoor]

Hi Gug,

Here we are, about to face the dawn of a new month !! How's it going with you? I hope you have recovered fully, along with SI (that choc cake is such a wonder drug for male sickness )

Have you found a wonder drug too? You seem to be cruising on down really well. Have you discovered massages? A few girls find them to be a "wonder drug" that makes them feel brilliant !!

Rock on, Gug,

Koh

[Ladybird]

Well done GUG. Jaw dropping moments are fantastic aren't they (although I want them to be over quickly to draw the focus off me again!!).
Love the pj idea, what a nice reward for a successful day.
LB x

[ConnieK..]

For you hon

[Lovely]

Interesting, maybe you can put your too big undies in there on super hot to shrink them!

[giddyupgirl]

I am not very good at this, my ticker is going in the wrong direction.

[ConnieK..]

You're just dizzy from the spin and drain cycle

[giddyupgirl]

Hi Connie, I wish it was a white goods problem, I am a complete fraud and failure and I have deviated really really badly.

[ConnieK..]

OK now you listen to me hon .... talking like that is not good. You have to recognise what happened, draw a line and move on. You can't change what happened now, but you know your reasons.

I need you to seriously LOOK at your ticker hon .. 30kg GONE ..... 30kg ... thats an 8 year old child ... You CAN do this ... I have faith in you ... you CAN do it.

take a step back and look at it without the guilt emotion. You were under stress - you talked yourself into deviating because you beleived your inner fat chick who said you were a failure ... well tell her to shut up!!! You are NOT a failure, you are a beautiful intelligent capable woman who is much stronger than she let's herself beleive she is ... you have done this hon ... you just need to stick it out a bit longer ..... draw a line ... the deviation is in the past ... let it go and start again right now ... I know you can

pm me if you need to hon

Connie

[giddyupgirl]

Thanks Connie, I am an expert at guilt and never need anyone to punish me, I do it really really well all on my own. I deviated so badly I even made a special trip to the shop to do it, telling myself the whole way how bad I was and that I didn't want to do it, but did it anyway. I am losing control of this and it is freaking me out. I can't afford to lose control, I just can't.

[ConnieK..]

You know what is do FANTASTIC about your last post .... you recognise the behaviour ... remember what I said about crazy people GuG ..... well you are Wayyyyy ahead of the pack cause you recognise the behaviour ....

you have to let go of the guilt and remorse cycle hon ..... beleive you deserve it ... because you do ..... and let's get this thing back on track ..... don't let your guilt convince you that you are a failure ... trust me ... everyone here knows I am a hard line bad ass LOL ... I have offended people left right and centre by telling them what I think... but 99% of the time I am right ...... and I KNOW I am right about you.

let it go and move on ... trust me it will all be OK .. don't let it de rail you ... YOU CAN DO THIS!

[Lovely]

As Connie has very wisely said, it is done now, draw a line under it, move on, stamp your feet, yell and scream and take back your control. Hang tough little lady you have come so far, what an amazing achievement, something to be so proud of, worthy of celebration and praise. This is just a little stumble, be even more determined to not allow it to become a major fall. You can do it.

[Lovely]

You can do this, you are nearly at the 2/3 mark! Honest, take Connies advice, it is good and sound.

[giddyupgirl]

Thanks Connie and Lovely, I will be fine, just a drama queen.

[ConnieK..]

hahaha I have a gay son who lived with 3 ballerinas ...talk about drama .... you don't scare me LOL

[giddyupgirl]

Wow Connie, I surrender on that one, you certainly win the drama queen stakes with that combo, I couldn't hold a candle to that.

[giddyupgirl]

Well Stick Insect has proven his worth as a hunter and gatherer and presented me with 9 lovely yellow belly (Golden Perch), still don't have a definitive answer if I am allowed to eat it, only hear say, but after the last few days a meal of very lean fresh white fish of allowance proportions can do no more damage.

[jlou]

Trying to check on the fish for you GUG - hang 10!

[giddyupgirl]

Thanks jlou

[giddyupgirl]

Had a bit of an odd experience with the forum last night, I was at my sil place with my laptop and while I was waiting for something to install on my computer I jumped on hers to post on here. I type my posting and then submitted it, and it came up under a different persons user name, and then once I got back onto my computer it had disappeared. Very strange. Then I got my sil to look at it using my username and password and she didn't see anything odd. Interesting, crossed wires in the ether somewhere I guess.

PS: my diviations have had me putting on 200g, I am being good today so far. I am very disappointed with myself as it is the first time I have deliberately eaten anything bad in 5 months and really wasn't worth the effort. Just proves that emotional eating does absolutely nothing for you except put on weight. Trying to rationalise why I did it, I spoke to my therapist this morning, he thinks I did it to punish myself (that whole guilt thing I am so good at). He is probably right, he usually is.

[mcpsych]

ahh, the ghost in the machine.
good to see you still working at the program- you clearly have the insight and i am sure you now have the will ( your last post ,i think, tells me you dont want to punish yourself again)
remember- guilt is a useless emotion. It serves no purose but to control us. let it go .
cheers
mark